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I still remember the first time I really walked into my boyfriend’s house, alone. It was last Summer when his mom invited me over to get to know me more, I was so nervous. There was much more to that visit, there was a connection and she helped me get through my mini depression episode that I had when our young man left to the service. It was her, her daughter and I sitting in that living room with a box full of pictures. Within the minute I walked in I felt at home, they didn’t look down on me, they didn’t make me feel like a stranger, I was like family.
Over the last couple of months they’ve given me the chance to meet the whole family in a more intimate way and I’ve been so thankful for that opportunity. It’s very nice to be able to go over when our Corpsman is away, spend time with the family. Today my family got together to celebrate Easter with a small BBQ and an egg hunt for the kids, even pool time and they asked me to invite my boyfriend’s family to join us.
Honestly, I was scared. Knowing how my family is, they are very shy and my mom rarely has a conversation longer than a minute. Mostly, I was scared that our families would shy away from each other or not get along because of language and such. I was a bit scared to do this on my own without my boyfriend around. In the end, it turned out to be a great success!
Yes, our families got along so well I was shocked! My brother was shocked to see my mom talk for hours and hours, my nieces and nephews got along with my boyfriend’s siblings, and his family met my whole family even my sister’s-in-law’s family. I’ve got a big smile on my face, couldn’t ask for more than two see harmony between our families. The best part? It wasn’t even about my boyfriend and I, it was about all the things they all have in common; we just happened to be the connection.
Smile, sometimes you fear the worst only to have the best happen.
Today I had one of those days where you just sit down and think of how your life is suddenly starting to flash before your eyes. I came to realize that not everything I had once planned is really what I’ll eventually be doing. Having that realization was more eye opening and mind blowing that it ever had been. It all started after I had a talk with my brother about the plans I had for my life.
My brother is not the kind to intervene in my life, but he is very protective, and I know he wants the best for me. I had a mindset that my life was pretty much well planned for the most part but when my brother asked me today I realized that a lot had changed. Truth is that life can change in any given moment, and I mean it can really change upside down and side to side and before you know it not even the best of plans can come out according to plan. I realized that I don’t have a lot of time to make some major life decisions, some which I will never get again and no matter how I look at it most of the decisions I have to make are nothing I had expected. Life changes quickly.
I know that I can’t have everything I want in life and so I must set my priorities straight. I promised myself before graduating high school to never do something that didn’t make me happy. I realized that a lot of the things I always wanted to have or achieve were things that didn’t make me happy, they were things I wanted merely to show that I could actually achieve. Keyword being “show”. Its not what I need, not what I truly and honestly wanted. Funny how one’s priorities change as one grows older.
I asked myself what made me happy and the answer was pretty clear from the beginning. I know what makes me happy, I know what I want, and I’m willing to fight for it till the very end. It might not be what I had always planned on wanting, but its OK to have changes. I understand that this road will be very bumpy and full of obstacles but that’s not something that’s going to stop me. If there’s anything I’ve ever been sure of is this, I’m risking it all for my true happiness.
Smile, your life can change before you even know it.
I had a math professor who would only give us the most challenging problems in each section for our homework (don’t get me started on the exams…) and everyone complained. We would ask him why, and why couldn’t we get some easy ones in there? He would always say “If you can tackle the big monsters you can tackle everything else” that forever resonated with me.
This professor was my favorite math professor ever, he challenged me like no other professor ever did. I spent countless hours trying to figure out the math problems he had assigned, the class had no curve, he had no mercy. Never did he use notes to write notes on the board, never did he hid behind a desk, and from day one he knew each one of us by name. He always had a lot of interesting points and things to say, when I thought about it a lot could also be used outside of the classroom.
“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors” – African proverb
If you think about it, tackling big monsters in real life give us experience and confidence in ourselves. Sometimes when I have those bad phases of life I think of what he said and I think if I can get through it I can get through many more things ahead. It keeps me going, it keeps me motivated when I am down. Sometimes the bad isn’t so bad as we think, sometimes the bad is what makes us see the good in many places where we couldn’t see. When you have monsters (problems) to tackle just remember that you have a choice to break down, and complain as to why you don’t have it easier or tackle it and add it to your belt of experience.
Smile, don’t get discouraged by those “Big Monsters” of life.
Alright maybe I’m exaggerating a bit here, it hasn’t been a hundred days, but sometimes that’s exactly what it feels like. Solitude. What an interesting word meaning “the state or situation of being alone”. I remember when I would do nearly anything just to get away, to be alone for a while. Although I very much appreciate some alone time here and there you reach a point where you realize too much of something is well, too much.
Image by *serhatdemiroglu
Sometimes I do ask to be alone, to have that time of solitude to gather up my thoughts, to be unbiased about my choices. Other times when desperation really kicks in I ask for help, and that’s when you know something is seriously not right. Asking for help is becoming rare for me, I learned to deal with things on my own but sometimes a good talk is just what you need, to let it all out. The other person doesn’t even need to say anything, just listen is all I ask for. Last time I asked for help, no one was willing to help. Interesting. Its in times like that when you realize who’s really the friend they say they are, interestingly how you can filter “friends” out so easily.
I admit it, maybe I was way too emotional to even think a tad logically but that’s precisely when you need someone there to kick some sense into you. Maybe it wasn’t so bad to not have the people I had expected to be there for me, after all its about learning not to expect things right? So perhaps its not so bad, because it shows that I can get back up all on my own, it comes to show you that not everyone is who they say they are, and it shows you to not be dependent. Oh the lessons of life, sometimes they come to you in the worst of times.
Smile, you too can do stuff all on your own.
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