The Beginning of the End

   I’m very excited to say 2011 was by far the best year in personal growth I’ve had in my whole life. I not only learned so much about myself, but I found the courage to take many risks, I never felt more alive. Now that 2011 is gone there is a lot of things to take care of in this new year.

First, I’m more than excited to announce that next weekend marks the beginning of the end of a major chapter in my life: my life as an undergraduate student. Graduation is just around the corner, this June to be precise and I have many major decisions to make in the following weeks. I feel that this upcoming weekend will bring me closure and help me with the decisions I am about to make. This is the first year I start knowing absolutely nothing of what will happen, practically no plans made!

I guess you can say I am winging the first half of this year and see where I end up in the next couple of months. I am no longer scared of what may come next, if I stay to pursue graduate studies or if I end up living alone in a foreign country, I will welcome any change that comes my way. This last year I learned that if I don’t take risks I’ll never know where I can get to in life.

“If you want to do something big in your life, you must remember that shyness is only the mind, If you think shy, you act shy. If you think confident you act confident. Therefore never let shyness conquer your mind.”

–Arfa Karim Randhawa (R.I.P.)

May this year be greater than last, may we all learn from our past. Here’s to the future, here’s to the start of a new era.

Smile, the future is ahead of us.

Fear

I’m scared.

I woke up in the middle of the night crying. My dreams have mostly been cruel, and last night’s was no exception. I remember when I had recurring nightmares, over time they became a normal experience . The few pleasant dreams I had I guarded, I cherished even though they were nothing but cruel and taunted my emotions. I think I have come to a point where I have reached a critical point in my self healing and growth and that scares me.

I feel the darkness over my world, I have once again crossed to the dark side, or perhaps I never left it at all. I have so many personal fears I have to face, problems I have to solve, decisions to make. My dreams are merely a mirror of my reality, my hopes, my fears.

Last night I was dreaming that I told him to hold me tight, and very close to him. I felt the warmth of his hands on mine, his tender kisses on top of my head, I felt his chest against my back rising and falling. I could hear his heart beating, I felt safe. “Don’t let me go.”

“The nuns taught us there were two ways through life – the way of nature and the way of grace.  You have to choose which one you’ll follow.” – The Tree of Life (2011)

I’m scared of the unkowns that will come tomorrow.

P.S. Keep smiling.

Happy Friendship Day

Another holiday! I actually found out this holiday existed last year. I know, some might think its another Hallmark and Candy and basically another “Time for Business” day but if you think about it it’s actually quite nice. Friendship Day might sound like a Middle of the Year Extension to Valentines Day.

“Don’t walk in front of me,
I may not follow.
Don’t walk behind me,
I may not lead.
Walk beside me and
be my friend.” – Albert Camus

For those that don’t know (and I know many who don’t) Friendship day is celebrated on the first Sunday of August, and as the name might give away it is a day to celebrate your friends. A lot of people spend time with their friends, some give gifts. Basically its a day to let your friends know how much they mean to you (We all have that friend that’s always there for us). Although you can (and would be nice) to do this in any other day of the year, the cool this is that not a lot of people know about this holiday. Why is it it “cool”? Because it can come to your friends as a surprise! You can let them know it’s a holiday too.

It’s nice to tell your friends that you value their friendship. Perhaps with a song, a letter, a card (E-Card), maybe a gift, a treat, even just saying it!

Ah what better way to finish this post on Friendship Day than with a song!

Smile, because you are someone’s friend.

Quote

“Do not watch the petals fall from the rose with sadness, like life, things sometimes must fade, before they can bloom again”

     I love quotes, I’m always looking for something that’s related to my mood, but mostly I look for something inspirational. Recently I came across the quote above, and I liked it. I don’t know who the author is because when I found it, there was no name next to it. I think I read it a hundred times before I decided to write this.

     This is one of those quotes that makes you think about life in general if you know what I mean. Take for example last year. I think that we can all agree that we all had ups and downs some of us had more of one or the other. Truth is we decide how we can end a day, by that I mean our mood.

     Take for example something bad that happened. At the moment it happens we can feel really bad about it all. We begin to question as to why it happened, and why it happened to us. Perhaps we might never know why things happen. By chance or by some random act of the universe bad things will happen and there is no way in stopping them. The beauty in it all is that we can take those bad things and see them in a new way. We can go through the experience and end up learning something about it or we can dread about it for days and maybe even longer. Ultimately it is our choice, we choose how to end the day.

     Bad things in my opinion shouldn’t always be seen as bad but rather as opportunities for change, learning and growth. Just think about it, sometimes we must move on before we can start again.

     Smile if you see the petals fall because the roses will bloom again.