As usual I checked the weather report before going to school, possible showers. For us in California the weather report should might as well announce that the sky is about to fall since most of us seem to panic just knowing that rain is on the way.
I love the rain, clouds, the whole winter thing. Ever since I was little I would sneak out to run around only to have my mother bring me back in the house, followed by some “you’ll get sick”, “are you insane?” etc. She would tell me about every possible bad scenario that could happen to me if I went out in the rain. It’s not that I wanted to be a bad child or be rebellious (not consciously). I just wanted to look at the clouds, I wanted to feel the rain drops fall on my hair, I wanted to jump on the puddles. I understand why my mother would get mad, she cared about my well being and of course didn’t want to clean up my muddyful mess. But I had fun doing that, it made me happy.
I remembered this and more on my way to school, the clouds looked beautiful as they paraded across the sky. I remember laying down on the grass to let my imagination take over. I would see animals, castles, and words in the sky. Those were beautiful times, happy memories of my childhood. How long has it been since I’ve done that? Years. Can’t exactly say how many but it sure feels like it’s been a long time.
Sometimes I wonder if it would be the same? When I was younger I had less things to worry about, less things to think about. I would lay there and just look at the clouds and their formations as they moved across the sky. What would happen if I tried that now? Would it be the same or would my everyday thoughts prevent me from having a wonderful time like I used to? I think a lot on a daily basis, my life is no longer worry free as it used to be. I can’t recall any time in the near past were I’ve spent time alone or doing something I enjoyed without thinking of things, just things.
For now I continue to watch the clouds, just not the same goal in mind. I don’t see castles in the sky the way I used to, but I do see something I like, clouds and that makes me happy. Funny how sometimes the little things that many of us take for granted are the very things that make some of us smile.