I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve questioned why certain things happen. There are times that I know I have the answers to my own questions yet I question in hopes that my answers will be wrong and that someone will give me another answer. I’ve learned the hard way that even though that’s what I want, life doesn’t work that way, yet I still question again and again.

     It seems that my asking is a habit, a bad one too. We cannot change the past, we can only change the future by acting on the present.  Nobody said life was easy, but no one ever told me life could be so hard either. Why? Because you learn on your own after you fall time after time, after time.

     I consider myself an optimist, those around me do so as well. Sometimes they ask me how it is that I keep on smiling. Is it because I have a good life? A happy life? Am I just so weird to see the happy side? Or am I just so cold hearted that I don’t care? You can say it’s a little bit of all, the reason why I’m an optimist is because I want a better tomorrow. Cheesy, but true.

     I don’t have the life that many think I do. I like many other people all around the world have my own share of problems. I’ve fallen more times than I can think of, but I always get back up again one way or another. One time I remember I was sitting on a bench when a woman approached me and asked me what was wrong. “Nothing.” I’m sure she knew something was wrong, perhaps my stare at the distance, my expression and she told me “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” I wont say that I am the most devoted Christian, nor am I the type of person to go everyday to church. I like to think of my relationship with religion as my own but I never forgot those words that woman said to me a few years back.

     I’m an optimist, I can see the other side. I’m also human. I dislike to question what life throws at us every now and then. Sometimes I feel like life throws thing after thing and I feel like it’s too much to take. The beauty comes when no matter how many things are thrown at me, I find a reason to smile. Today I smile because I’m alive, because I still have someone in my life. I smile because no matter what we’ll get up, it may not be tomorrow but we’ll get up. Life is painfully beautiful.

Smile because you are alive. =)

– Casper

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