There’s a behavior that has always eluded me, people putting each other down. I’m not sure I understand why people keep doing this time after time. We do it to Susie, Susie does it to Sammy and Sammy does it to someone else. My question is WHY? Sometimes we do it without meaning to, we say the wrong thing at the wrong time but sometimes we know what we’re doing and we do it anyway. For those of us that have a conscience we feel guilty yet we do it again sooner or later. It’s a vicious cycle.
I talked to a friend of mine about this issue and we concluded that there are three types of cyles that fall under this type of behavior: (maybe there’s more?)
People: Cycle One
People put us down, whether its your friend, your family, your boss, the stranger you met at the grocery store people try to put us down all the time. Is this a case of envy? Bad day? Bad luck? Or just plain meaness, I’m not sure. I’m sure we’ve all come across someone who tries to put us down just when we’re feeling that rush of happiness, “But it won’t work” or “ I’ve seen better” etc. Sometimes you don’t even have to be happy for other people to put you down. There are times that I wonder if people are really so evil as to just want to see others down? I think that is just sickening and the worst part is that I’ve seen close people to me do this to others. Tough world we live in huh?
Self: Cycle Two
WE put ourselves down. That’s right we do it to ourselves too. I’ll raise my hand on this one because there have been a few times when I treated myself like the lowest creature on earth (do understand that I went through some rough times). Sometimes we tell ourselves that we’re so bad, so horrible, the worst of our kind. The problem comes when you actually start to believe what you’re saying. I think that’s the worst fail of all believing these things. The reason is because they’re probably not true and you’re only making things harder on yourself. And again this is a cycle because every once in a while we keep doing it.
Mix: Cycle Three
Sometimes you get both cycles at once. Someone puts you down and you follow them along. Before you know it you and others are putting yourself down! I can tell you that this is not a good thing.
How should I deal with this? Well what I’ve come to learn is:
1. Don’t let other people put you down (keeps you away from Cycle One)
– Sure everyone has their own opinions but let it just be that, an OPINION.
– Think on the bright side they may actually be wanting to be in your spot.
2. Be as optimistic as you can (keeps you away from Cycles One, Two and Three)
– Stop and smell the roses, relax there will be better times.
And as I always say: SMILE. Not only does it get you in a better mood, but you might get someone else in a happy mood with just one smile (might keep you away from those vicious cycles too).
Smile, there are many reasons to smile!
Got anything more to add?