Not to long ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine, in that conversation he asked me what I thought my flaws were as a person. Interesting. I must say he is an interesting character and wonderful person full of surprises. A person who is not afraid to ask you what is exactly on his mind and seems to pick up even the smallest words you say when someone else would only think they are fill-in words in your sentences. My flaws? I have many.
My biggest one is I’m terrified of commitment. I can commit happily to work, school, family anything except a relationship with someone. I usually run away at the first hint of things going well. I have trust issues. I am a perfectionist in many aspects. I am a stubborn person, way too stubborn for my own liking. I can get a temper easily but that is actually a rare thing. I like to be alone (as you might already know) and that seems to be a flaw in many people’s eyes. I have many flaws, that’s just how I am but these flaws make me who I am. I’m not saying it as an excuse to continue them, I know I have many things to improve upon but this is me now.
My mentor told me once that we cannot change people and that seems to be a major mistake by everyone. Seriously think about it, how many times we’ve seen our friends enter a relationship thinking they can change the other person only to end up in a breakup? If you don’t want people to change who you are as a person, why should we even try to change others? Everyone has flaws and we make mistakes often, we are only human. If you enter a relationship hoping to change someone then why be in the relationship in the first place? If you love someone you love them for who they are, if you don’t and want to model them into someone else then why not find someone who meets your expectations to begin with?
Can we change? Certainly! However, not all of us can and not all of us who do change over night. Changing is a difficult process of leaving what we already know us to be into something we aren’t. Many of us change over the years, its a slow process. A process of us becoming someone new, sometimes for the best and sometimes not for very good. Change is change and everyone has their own way of changing. Some people will be more than willing to change for someone they love, and some may not. Whatever the case may be we can’t make everyone happy by being who we already are. The thing we must understand is that we must accept that fact that we cant make everyone happy. If you have flaws that you want to change, fine and if you don’t that’s fine too! It’s all up to you, its your life. But if you don’t want to change don’t expect others to change for you if you can’t do the same for them. Its all about compromise and feeling happy about who you are as person.
Smile, be happy for who you are.