I feel like I’ve lost so many people this year. Both physically and relationship wise. I feel as if death has been roaming my personal universe. All the events of this year have made me think so much, have made me think that life is so short, we are all in transition at all times. Transition from one place to another, constant change.
My grandpa passed away the last day of September, my cousin and her unborn baby passed away during the Summer, my morning friend and cross guard passed away two weeks ago, my dog was put to sleep in late Spring. My nightmares are filled with the subject of death. I’ve dreamed of my dog many times, every time I see a dog that looks like him in the street I feel sad. I had a dream of my grandpa, and that scared me. I haven’t been so scared of nightmares in a while.
This is it isn’t it? We leave, sometimes unexpectedly. We close our eyes and dream of things, imagine the things we wish for. We open our eyes and see our reality, its all changed. A constant battle between chaos and order, perhaps its not even a battle at all perhaps is just the ordinary “shake up” of our reality. This is it, every moment is the last of its own kind. Every moment is unique, it is a memory in time and space never to be relieved again with exactness. There are so many variables to be re created: feelings, expressions, thoughts, movements, sights, smells, etc. and such is why memories are unique.
We are in transition right now, this very moment. Moving through space, floating through time we are moving to something new. It may be the last transition, it may be the first of many, it may be another in the list to come. We never know which transition will the the last. This is it, this is the time to make it count, the time to do something. To live, to breathe because we were given the gift to do so, so why not?