This just hasn’t been my week, at all. I’m trying (very hard) to stay optimistic, to smile but I just have those random moments when I want to break down. Don’t worry, I’m still standing, I keep my head up, as that phrase says “What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.”. It’s ironic how some things happen, yesterday my friend was telling me how she was mad because her day had started off bad. I texted back by saying “Hey, sometimes things happen for a reason.” she is not a believer of such things because as she says “Well, whats the reason?” neither of us know. Ironically, my morning started out fine, I woke up thinking that it was the day I’d turn things around. I was going to smile, I was going to live because I was given the opportunity. Little did I know things would change in the split of a second, to be honest I’m still shaken up about the whole thing.

It was one of those mornings, things were going fine and dandy. I got to my bus stop and I thought I had missed the bus but it didn’t matter I was happy, I sat and I waited. The bus came a little late but it got there. The driver got mad at a passenger for running across the street, the driver had a little talk with the passenger and the passenger mad at being scolded at sat at a seat near the back. The minutes were passing, my friend texts me, I texted back. I realize that I was going to miss my second bus, but it was ok I wasn’t in a hurry anyway. I arrived at my second stop to realize my second bus had already passed, and I thought it would be nice to stop for some lunch, the light turned green and I was only a mere few feet from the corner. Should I run? I can catch up with the lady who had already started to walk. You know, I should just wait and eat lunch at home with mom… I made the decision in no more than 2 seconds. I stared at the lady, something made me just stare at her, what it was I have no idea. But I looked at her and I thought: she probably has kids at home, her kids are probably on Spring Break, shes smiling… and I smiled because she looked happy. Out of no where I hear a truck speeding down the street, it didn’t stop, I immediately looked at the lady who was almost near the other side, the truck still speeding. It was as if both were meant to meet at the exact same point in time and space because what I saw next was horrifying to say the least and it all happened so fast.

I can’t stop replaying it in my head over and over, the sounds, the sight all still very fresh in my mind. The sound of the truck colliding with her body, her scream, her doll-like body flying from the impact, the sound of the harsh landing on that black pavement, the contents of her cart flying all over the place…fresh laundry falling like confetti from the sky. Her numb body on the floor, everything just silent. My first reaction was to call 911 immediately, and after that I entered a panic mode. The silence broken as another lady screamed at the sight, cars still wanted to pass by her body as if nothing had happened. How could people be so desensitized? A lady immediately blocked the intersection with her truck, people began to run to help, some looked and turned away horrified. A man immediately parked his car on the side of the street and ran to the center of the intersection to direct traffic. The ambulance arrived soon after I tried to get to the other side but the cars blocked my path, the cops came and closed off access. I couldn’t go through, the culprit had taken off. I felt my legs liquify in fear, in shock. I couldn’t breathe, heck I even felt like I forgot how to breathe. I called home, a complete mess. My sister picked me up and I cried as soon as I saw her. I was on full panic attack mode.

She was someone’s daughter, maybe a mother. She was going somewhere, and everything changed in the split of a second. That could’ve been me if I had decided to take those 5-7 extra steps. I cant stop thinking that maybe if I had walked with her across, maybe I would’ve seen the truck, maybe I could’ve told her to run, or stop. Just maybe things could’ve been different. Everyone tells me I’m lucky, that things happen for a reason, etc. How am I lucky? What if she had kids? I still get shivers down my spine when I think about it. I don’t feel lucky at all. Maybe as some say, it wasn’t my time. But it doesn’t change the fact that it was someone else’s and that pains me deeply. Because maybe, just maybe things could’ve been different.

Smile, because there’s still good hearted and brave individuals like the people that I saw help out.