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I don’t believe that we are destined for something, that our lives have been planned out way before we were even created. I like to believe that we all have free will, but every now and then something happens that makes me question my beliefs or lack there of on fate. Is it possible that we were destined to be with someone? Took me nearly a decade to go on a date with my childhood friend. After all those years being friends I’m still learning so much about this incredible man. Born hundreds of miles apart, we found each other.

I still remember a few years back he asked me for a kiss, but I said no because in my rule book kissing a friend was a no-no. Looking back I can’t believe I didn’t appreciate the gesture of him asking me for a kiss, that was a very gentleman-like thing to do. While I still feel bad for turning him down those few years ago, I feel like it was meant to happen. Weird, yes. Back then my heart was elsewhere, my head was in a state of confusion and I was aching over ghosts of the past. I had to practically go through my own hell to learn to value and appreciate the important things in life again.

Sometimes I feel like those years in between prepared me for a lot of things. I don’t know if it was destiny that crossed our paths so many times at very important points in our lives. I still remember him asking me to hang out and for a kiss, but my stubbornness and rules got in the way despite of how I felt. It wasn’t until I realized that in life we must take risks and then it reminded me of that quote from ‘When Harry Met Sally’, “…because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” Destiny or not, I am a very lucky woman who loves and is loved by a truly wonderful man.


Smile, because life is filled with beautiful surprises. 

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 This just hasn’t been my week, at all. I’m trying (very hard) to stay optimistic, to smile but I just have those random moments when I want to break down. Don’t worry, I’m still standing, I keep my head up, as that phrase says “What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.”. It’s ironic how some things happen, yesterday my friend was telling me how she was mad because her day had started off bad. I texted back by saying “Hey, sometimes things happen for a reason.” she is not a believer of such things because as she says “Well, whats the reason?” neither of us know. Ironically, my morning started out fine, I woke up thinking that it was the day I’d turn things around. I was going to smile, I was going to live because I was given the opportunity. Little did I know things would change in the split of a second, to be honest I’m still shaken up about the whole thing.

It was one of those mornings, things were going fine and dandy. I got to my bus stop and I thought I had missed the bus but it didn’t matter I was happy, I sat and I waited. The bus came a little late but it got there. The driver got mad at a passenger for running across the street, the driver had a little talk with the passenger and the passenger mad at being scolded at sat at a seat near the back. The minutes were passing, my friend texts me, I texted back. I realize that I was going to miss my second bus, but it was ok I wasn’t in a hurry anyway. I arrived at my second stop to realize my second bus had already passed, and I thought it would be nice to stop for some lunch, the light turned green and I was only a mere few feet from the corner. Should I run? I can catch up with the lady who had already started to walk. You know, I should just wait and eat lunch at home with mom… I made the decision in no more than 2 seconds. I stared at the lady, something made me just stare at her, what it was I have no idea. But I looked at her and I thought: she probably has kids at home, her kids are probably on Spring Break, shes smiling… and I smiled because she looked happy. Out of no where I hear a truck speeding down the street, it didn’t stop, I immediately looked at the lady who was almost near the other side, the truck still speeding. It was as if both were meant to meet at the exact same point in time and space because what I saw next was horrifying to say the least and it all happened so fast.

I can’t stop replaying it in my head over and over, the sounds, the sight all still very fresh in my mind. The sound of the truck colliding with her body, her scream, her doll-like body flying from the impact, the sound of the harsh landing on that black pavement, the contents of her cart flying all over the place…fresh laundry falling like confetti from the sky. Her numb body on the floor, everything just silent. My first reaction was to call 911 immediately, and after that I entered a panic mode. The silence broken as another lady screamed at the sight, cars still wanted to pass by her body as if nothing had happened. How could people be so desensitized? A lady immediately blocked the intersection with her truck, people began to run to help, some looked and turned away horrified. A man immediately parked his car on the side of the street and ran to the center of the intersection to direct traffic. The ambulance arrived soon after I tried to get to the other side but the cars blocked my path, the cops came and closed off access. I couldn’t go through, the culprit had taken off. I felt my legs liquify in fear, in shock. I couldn’t breathe, heck I even felt like I forgot how to breathe. I called home, a complete mess. My sister picked me up and I cried as soon as I saw her. I was on full panic attack mode.

She was someone’s daughter, maybe a mother. She was going somewhere, and everything changed in the split of a second. That could’ve been me if I had decided to take those 5-7 extra steps. I cant stop thinking that maybe if I had walked with her across, maybe I would’ve seen the truck, maybe I could’ve told her to run, or stop. Just maybe things could’ve been different. Everyone tells me I’m lucky, that things happen for a reason, etc. How am I lucky? What if she had kids? I still get shivers down my spine when I think about it. I don’t feel lucky at all. Maybe as some say, it wasn’t my time. But it doesn’t change the fact that it was someone else’s and that pains me deeply. Because maybe, just maybe things could’ve been different.

Smile, because there’s still good hearted and brave individuals like the people that I saw help out.

Have you ever made a decision that haunted you for some time? Maybe not everyday but every now and then made you think if what you did was the right thing? I had one of those and it wasn’t until recently that I realized that it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

I’ve had my share of criticism, lost friendships, and labeled in many ways over the last couple of years because of that one breakup. Ah relationships… so complicated at times. Overall, it was way too much drama, more than anyone would want. Of course I was the bad person in several stories, and I learned to live with the questioning, and labeling, and pointing. Now that I think of it, I lived in my very own teenage movie that mind you has lasted into my college years.

Things happen for a reason, and I’m a firm believer of that. “Good things come to those who wait” and you know what? I don’t mind waiting, and working because I know there are great things out there for all of us we just have to learn to be patient and overcome the obstacles that come our way. So revisiting old days and looking at how things have turned out to be I have no regrets. I don’t mind the drama that has been a part of my life, my decisions, none of it. I learned things here and there from it all. Its nice to revisit the old days, but I am glad they are past me. Its nice to feel that feeling of being past certain phases in your life to know that you can apply what you’ve learned to what you have today and what will come tomorrow. So I’ll wait patiently, I’ll let life take its course because no matter what happens tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow something new awaits.

Smile, there’s something great for you out there!

Sometimes I wonder how everything is so graciously calculated to the most minute detail. It’s incredible to think and wonder about the world around you and how it all compliments so “perfectly”. I’ll tell you a personal story of mine that made me think to a great extent. One day I had a major exam in school (this year to be exact), I studied, went to my class and took my exam and came out earlier than what I had expected. I felt a bit nervous for I had finished “too early” but I felt confident nevertheless, but that day I decided to linger around the hallways. Why? I don’t know I just did, I just walked around without a clue, without a reason. I then began to make my way out of campus, I walked slower than usual, taking in every scent, every breeze that caressed my face with a smile. As I kept on walking I saw another student walking the same path that I was in front of me. I pulled my phone out as I was checking the time when I realized I had a missed call, entertained as I was in my own little world I nearly bumped into the student in front of me. I apologized for not paying attention and then he greeted me.

We began a conversation that lasted almost two hours about the economy, the current status of school and to make matters more interesting his dislike of my field in science. I must say that young man was by far one of the most interesting and most intellectually captivating strangers I had ever come across. The guy made me think of so many issues that had never been presented so straight forward to me. He made me see a different side of the field I want to work in, a side that I hadn’t thought of before. The side of the people not in my field. The man was right in so many aspects, he talked to me about his aspirations of writing a book, it was all incredible to me. After that meeting I thought to myself, if I had not finished my exam early, if I had not walked those hallways without reason, if I had not walked slower than usual, if I had not reached out for my phone there is a chance that I wouldn’t be telling you this story. I wouldn’t have met that “intellectual stranger” that day. Funny how one small moment in time can change so many things in the future.

Smile, you might come across an unexpected but pleasant surprise.

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