Destiny or Another Beautiful Surprise?

I don’t believe that we are destined for something, that our lives have been planned out way before we were even created. I like to believe that we all have free will, but every now and then something happens that makes me question my beliefs or lack there of on fate. Is it possible that we were destined to be with someone? Took me nearly a decade to go on a date with my childhood friend. After all those years being friends I’m still learning so much about this incredible man. Coincidentally we were born a few hours apart, moved to the same city where we first met within a few weeks, and went through heartaches at the same time. We complained about the crazy things that had placed us in all these situations and places until we realized that if these never happened, we probably wouldn’t have met.

I still remember a few years back he asked me for a kiss, but I said no because in my rule book kissing a friend was a no-no. Looking back I can’t believe I didn’t appreciate the gesture of him asking me for a kiss, that was a very gentleman-like thing to do. While I still feel bad for turning him down those few years ago, I feel like it was meant to happen. Weird, yes. Back then my heart was elsewhere, my head was in a state of confusion and I was aching over ghosts of the past. I had to practically go through my own hell to learn to value and appreciate the important things in life again.

Sometimes I feel like those years in between prepared me for a lot of things. I don’t know if it was destiny that crossed our paths so many times at very important points in our lives. I still remember him telling me, “Take a risk with me” but my stubbornness and rules got in the way despite of how I felt. It wasn’t until I realized that in life we must take risks and then it reminded me of that quote from ‘When Harry Met Sally’, “…because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” Destiny or not, I am a very lucky woman who loves and is loved by a truly wonderful man.

Smile, because life is filled with beautiful surprises. 

The Bittersweet Feeling of Nostalgia

    There’s these tables in the middle of a school. Its a middle school, to me its the best middle school in the world. By those tables are these big and tall trees that give the nicest shade on hot days. Its on those tables that I used to sit down when I was a little kid to talk to my sweetie about books, and the nerdy things we liked.

Back in the day we were just friends, he was a very shy boy, he was new to the school for that year. He was mysterious in a very captivating way. His brown eyes, his black hair, that thoughtful look that he still does when he’s thinking about things. Looking back I was (still am) a very nerdy girl, quite the weirdo if you ask me. I started to talk to him because we found out we had some books in common, and well mostly I just liked to bug him. At one point I had a crush on him but only to find out that all the other girls had a crush on him too. Being his friend is all I wanted, all that really mattered to me, we remained friends for years after that.

He captivated me from day one, always made me think with his questions and observations about life. During lunch we would sit under those big and tall shade giving trees, on those blue tables predicting what was to happen in our favorite book series. Here we are nearly a decade later, with many miles apart and very close at heart.

Whenever I pass by that school and look at those tables, those trees I get this bittersweet feeling of nostalgia. Remembering how it all began all those years ago, seeing how much we’ve done in the in between time, and where we are now. I’m not going to lie, going back always gets me teary eyed (in a happy way) whenever I think of the good times I had under those trees. It never hit me that that shy and mysterious boy I met all those years ago would end up being the man I want to keep growing old with.

Smile, any little moment can be THE moment that changes your life forever. 

Learning From A Dog

     Our dog may not be trained, but he is a great dog an amazing dog. I remember one time during the first times my sweetie and I would go for walks and he walked me home and was about to give me a hug when our dog started barking a bit, and was not happy that my sweetie got too close to me. It was the first time that I ever saw Duke being so protective over me. He always has been but it wasn’t until then that I really began to see it. Of course he got over being very protective of my sweetie getting close to me since he started to see him more but his protectiveness and loyalty is still there.

Whenever I go outside to the back yard he follows me, waits for me. When I go out at night to look up at the stars he sits by me, waits for me and walks me back to my door. Often times he sleeps outside my window, and always patrols the house. That ladies and gentlemen is real loyalty.

Isn’t it amazing? Duke is an amazing dog, he’s not just a pet, he has become a part of the family. What amazes me is his unconditional loyalty to us. I’ll be honest, we don’t play with him everyday and yet he’s still there for us. Sometimes I wonder why can’t we be the same? Why can’t we be so unconditional about our love and loyalty to our own kind? Why must we be so needy of reciprocation, is it because our egos get in the way? Something else?

There have been times when the only one that is ever there to listen to my rants about life is Duke. He just sits there and more than likely doesn’t understand a word that I say, but he’s there. When I cry he knows I’m crying and always wants to lick my face and sometimes cries with me. When I’m happy he gets so hyper and wags his tail. So I get to think, how can we call the human race this amazing and superior race? We kill each other, we bring each other down, we care about the less important things in life and here is a dog, a species that we see below our own acting in a more humane way. Its moments like these that I realize that us as humans we really are not as great as we wish to be, we are just another species in this earth. We really are nothing if we look at the bigger picture of the universe, just a tiny little spec in this vast place of mystery. I don’t know about you but I find it to be beautiful to be a tiny spec in our Universe. We each hold many ideas, many feelings, we have all done many things, and yet we are specs of life I mean how much more amazing can that be?

Smile, sometimes the most loyal of all friends is that furry little critter with four legs and a wagging tail .

With Friends Like These…

    Friendship, when two people form a bond, they go through life in good and bad. All friends like all relationships have their highs and lows, and points where neither will agree with one another. I understand that, you can’t agree with everyone on every little thing and that’s just how life is.

In my stress management class our professor told us to write, so here I am writing to express myself. Why do some people pretend to be someone they are not? You are someone’s friend, or you’re not. A friend wont twist your words, a friend wont create you drama, a friend stands by you through good and bad. Sure you may not like everything they say, but there is such thing as going too far.

Going as far as creating you drama (goodness not even to your face but through text messaging!) just crosses a line. Like I always say, if people really want to tell me something important why, why, why must people always hide behind technology? Is it so hard to be honest to people to their face? Shall we blame technology or shall we just call it what it is, cowardice.

If there’s one thing I dislike is people invading my privacy, if I invite you in on certain things its because I trust you (and people wonder why I have trust issues…) and I always make myself clear as to how far I’m willing to let people in. When they start to bring stuff up that quite frankly is nothing of their business, it does bother me. I’m not doing that to their lives, so why must they insist on invading mine? I’m friendly, I’ll be your handkerchief of tears but once you begin to cross the lines of distrust, dishonesty, and disrespect I will stand up and speak up. This is real life, its not high school where you can gossip and create drama it doesn’t make you look “cool” it shows your true colors. I value honesty, especially if its harsh or difficult for others to say, it shows they have courage to stand up. But when you try to add lies, deceit, bring up the past, and practically show interest in my failing in life that’s not honesty that’s just hypocrisy.

If you don’t know how I feel, don’t pretend you do nor go around saying how you think I feel. I’m tired of gossip, seriously like you have no idea. I’m tired of people saying one thing and wishing your every step is the next into the realm of failure. With friends like these, who needs enemies? I respect those who tell me they don’t like me because they are being honest. Its time to let go of people, surround myself of good-hearted people, by real friends not the so called “friends” that run away when you hit rock bottom or wish you the worst and pretend to smile as if nothing ever happened. I don’t need friends like these, I don’t want friends like these, its time to move on because life keeps going and there’s no time to waste.

Smile, they may be few but there are people with (real) good hearts out there in the world.