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I feel like I’ve lost so many people this year. Both physically and relationship wise. I feel as if death has been roaming my personal universe. All the events of this year have made me think so much, have made me think that life is so short, we are all in transition at all times. Transition from one place to another, constant change.

My grandpa passed away the last day of September, my cousin and her unborn baby passed away during the Summer, my morning friend and cross guard passed away two weeks ago, my dog was put to sleep in late Spring. My nightmares are filled with the subject of death. I’ve dreamed of my dog many times, every time I see a dog that looks like him in the street I feel sad. I had a dream of my grandpa, and that scared me. I haven’t been so scared of nightmares in a while.

This is it isn’t it? We leave, sometimes unexpectedly. We close our eyes and dream of things, imagine the things we wish for. We open our eyes and see our reality, its all changed. A constant battle between chaos and order, perhaps its not even a battle at all perhaps is just the ordinary “shake up” of our reality. This is it, every moment is the last of its own kind. Every moment is unique, it is a memory in time and space never to be relieved again with exactness. There are so many variables to be re created: feelings, expressions, thoughts, movements, sights, smells, etc. and such is why memories are unique.

We are in transition right now, this very moment. Moving through space, floating through time we are moving to something new. It may be the last transition, it may be the first of many, it may be another in the list to come. We never know which transition will the the last. This is it, this is the time to make it count, the time to do something. To live, to breathe because we were given the gift to do so, so why not?

 

Smile, LIVE.

Taking that last breath

Photograph by Jason Hill

Everything stops
Everything grows cold
The presence of death
Among us all.

What is it like, on the other side?
Is there such things
As a narrow path,
Or a guiding light?
Is it true, or is it all lies?

You’re now on the other side.

You’re here and there
Defying the Laws,
Defying the hopes,
Defying the prayers,
Of crying souls.

Tears run down many faces,
Water drops fall as nature cries.
Everything stops.
Everything grows cold.
The presence of death is
Among us all.

Not too long ago a dear family member passed away, she was a young and lively young woman. Like many she had aspirations for a better life, a great future. She was engaged and was about to be a mother. I remember her as a child, she always wanted to be a nurse because she believed in helping others. She was a great person, a sister, a daughter and a friend. Unfortunately her life was cut short and all her future dreams and goals were left forever on hold.

It was after her death that many of us found out about her writing, she was an avid writer and a great one too. She wrote her thoughts for many months and she shared them on her blog that many of us did not know. I came across it and I must say that my heart was filled with a sweet taste of sadness. A young person like herself should not have had to go so soon. She left us with many wonderful memories. She also left us with her writings on her blog. Her thoughts, her opinions, her ideas, her feelings. She left us with a little piece of her that remains alive, and to us as her family that is grand.

You might think it a bit morbid to think in such way. But lets be realistic for a second, we are just passing by this world and sooner or later our time will come as well. We can only hope to appreciate everything that comes our way and make the best out of every moment. What I do know is that I’m glad I’ve been sharing my thoughts here, I’m leaving my thoughts behind no matter what happens tomorrow or the day after.

Smile, make the best of every moment today.

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