Some Would Say It Was the End of An Era

  It really was. Since preschool I’ve been having my schedule set, I knew exactly what was to be done the days following, precisely what was expected of me and of course one of the things most students dread, the completion of homework. I can’t believe I’m actually saying this but I will miss homework, I will miss studying for midterms and having all-nighters (could never help not doing them) on Finals Week.

It’s not so bad I guess, I will continue to have exams and I am planning to go back as soon as I can. So much happened, and by so much I mean SO MUCH. I think that doesn’t even cut it, my life turned around completely and its only about to keep turning with surprises at every corner.

It was during Finals Week that I decided to apply for grad school, the application was actually all ready all I needed was to push that “Done” button and send it away but a lot happened. Long story short I opted to not apply, I decided it was time to start my life because truth is I’m not getting any younger.

Funny how things turned out because on graduation I got the chance to talk to one of my professors, one that knew me best and as he shook my hand he told me he hoped to see me in the Fall because there was no way I would not get into the program. With the chair backing me up as well (another one of my favorite professors who never gave up on me), and two others, my GPA, involvement and “enthusiasm to face challenges” all I had to do was say “Yes, lets do this”.

Thing is, I had made my decision a few days earlier that life was going to take me somewhere else for a while. As soon as my professor said that I looked up and thought how the Universe was throwing so much at me. Criticized for my decision I was, quite a lot actually by family and friends. How could I have a foot in grad school and back out? Like I said, I’m not getting any younger.

As I walked up the path that I walked so many times before, for years I realized it was the last time I would hopefully just for the few months to come. I said farewell to the many bright minds that amazed me every day, to the professors that didn’t give up on me and the buildings that housed my very thoughts. It was my second home for five years, the place that saw me grow. Some say graduating from college is the end of an era, and you know what? It is.

Thank you, Universe.

Smile, be thankful for the opportunities you take and those you leave behind.

Getting Closer To The End of An Era

 Five years ago my thoughts were so much different from today. No surprise there since a lot has changed but when I look at old pictures of myself I smile because if I could go back in time to tell myself something, well I wouldn’t. Most of my life I have been school oriented. When I started college my goal was to prove people wrong, yeah not the best goal to have. My motivations were all in the wrong place, and I had a lot of growth ahead of me. I’ve yet so much to learn, so much room for improvement and I already know to expect many changes ahead. Ah, life sure can turn one’s life around.

Graduation is six weeks away, so basically just around the corner. It hadn’t hit me until I went to get my cap and gown and I laid it down on my bed. Sleepless nights, many times crying over physics and calculus problems, many sweet eureka moments that literally made me skip my way to class. It was in college that I found my addiction to coffee, a drink I swore to dislike, just one of the many things I gave a try that I said I never would. After all that and more there I was standing before what I had worked so hard these last couple of years.

What’s next? A big question mark. Graduate school, the beginning of my own family, a far away adventure, a little of all? If you had asked me five years ago what my plans would be today I would’ve said without a doubt, Grad school. Now, I feel like my career has gone one level down on my priority list. For the first time I’m actually excited about wanting to start a family, quite the opposite thought that I had five years ago. I used to shiver at the thought of having kids of my own, my career was the only kid I ever wanted. Me have kids? You’re crazy!

Changes, changes all over the place. I don’t know where I’ll be next year, let along a few months but I can tell you that I’ve enjoyed the journey this far. I have a lot of growth ahead of me, more obstacles to overcome, and more changes coming up. Am I excited? I am!

Smile, take some time to look at your own journey in life. 

Changes Are Coming

I was recently talking to my mom of how I was when I was little. Ever since I can remember I’ve had the same stubborn personality I still have today. Always wanting to do things my way, on my own. I learned to walk by the time I was 8 months, and started speaking within a month later. By the time I was a year old I was talking like a parrot and already running the house my way. My siblings couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to me first because I HAD to wish them a safe trip to school, I liked to walk by myself without holding hands with anyone. A few months later I knew my alphabet, and my numbers to 100, I would cut straight lines, I was pretty much ready for Kinder status. All thanks to my wonderful siblings who spent hours and hours teaching what I needed to know. By the time I started school I was more than eager to learn new things, I was excited and ready to learn and the same is still true today.

What really got to me was what my mom told me an old lady told her once, that her little girl was going to go far in life, I had the spirit of a natural leader. Mom went on to tell me to do whatever I had to do to find happiness, even if that meant going far from home. That’s been on my mind lately, and quite honestly I’m ready to leave wherever I am wanted even if that means the other side of the world. Although its been an idea I’ve kept with very, very few people somehow its starting to get around in the family, my older sister came to tell me to stay. Not like I’ll be missed right? Something in the way she told me to stay made me very sad, it was painful.

Image by *thefantasim

Its been an internal conflict of mine, to stay or to go in search of my very own adventure. I’m very torn between these two choices. For one, if I stay I’ll be home with the people I love, I’ll see my nieces and nephews grow, I’ll be ready whenever my love comes back home, communication with him will be easier. However if I stay, I won’t get much done. If I leave I’ll have the opportunity to actually go somewhere, be someone, isn’t that why I spent sleepless nights? To have a solid career? Haven’t I always wanted to have my very own BIG adventure?

I can’t have both, and I know that if I leave chances are I’ll come back to a very different home, a different everything. If I leave I’ll be completely on my own, no place to run to, no one to run and hug, no one to wish goodnight or good morning, and chances are if something happens at home I won’t even be able to come back right away. I’m trying to find signs, anything really that tells me to stay or leave. I ‘m running out of time to decide, and I purposely keep pushing it back everyday because this is a decision that will change my life in a zillion different ways.

Smile, either way changes are coming.

Back To School On Memory Lane

     School is about to start, the whole hype about kids going to school reminds me of when I was younger. I remember that every year I would look forward for that school shopping experience. I remember going down the isles with my brother and or my sister and they would ask me what materials I would be needing for school. This, this, that… The routine was always the same, and always pleasant.

I loved going school shopping. There was just something so nice about that “starting all over” feeling that I loved so much. Each year was the same, a new beginning, a new start. Seeing my nieces and nephews getting ready to go to school really brings me back to my days when I was their age. A lot has changed from what I’ve seen. Perhaps I’m getting to old, perhaps I’m still stuck in my old ways when things seemed more childish and naïve. Nowadays I see kids more worried about other things like makeup (yeah, I’ve seen first graders worried about makeup), and new gadgets and cellphones. I’m talking about kids here! Maybe I really am stuck in the olden days when a lunch box was so cool to have, when the biggest gadget you owned was a Gigapet or a calculator that you didn’t even need. I miss the old days when backpacks where all about Hello Kitty and Lisa Frank and not about Hanna Montana and all those other characters that are way too out there for me.

I remember how the most we complained about where uniforms, and how much we disliked wearing those collar shirts. Now kids that don’t have to take uniform complain about having brand jeans and designer clothes. I miss the simple days of school, the more childish days where kids were actually kids and enjoyed their childhood. Today all I see is kids so worried about their body and image, and having the new styles and being popular. Today it seems that being a second grader and not having a phone is a big deal breaker. What has happened? Why can’t we be a big more conscious about giving kids a break and let them be kids. Then again times have changed, but I don’t think I’ll ever change in liking the simpler things in life.

Smile, just because times change doesn’t mean you can’t reminisce about your good times.