A New Chance To Love

  My parent’s marriage was never a rose colored one, or one of those where the couple has been married for so long you wonder what a great life they’ve had together. Wrong. My parent’s started off great, my dad even got his teeth knocked out in pursuit of my mom (had to get replacements). My mom destroyed the greatest car my dad ever had, rejected him a million times before she even said “yes” to a date and yet they got married.

What seemed to be a perfect story didn’t turn out so well a few years into their marriage, my dad had affairs and eventually they separated a few months after I was born. They tried to work things out when I was a few years old but that turned out more sour than the last and they called it quits soon after. Now after years of dad being away they’re back together but finally it seems they’ve figured out that despite everything they ended up together because no one seems to comprehend the other like they do.

I’ve been observing them for the last two years that my dad has returned, they started off quite rocky but it wasn’t until one of them decided to change that the other decided they too had to change to make this work. We all knew that those two loved each other, they were just too stubborn to change and admit their faults. Now, when I look at them I see that love that I hadn’t seen before. I see the way dad holds my mom’s hand and smiles as she eats her breakfast. Or the way mom makes dinner in such a loving and careful way to make it perfect because dad deserves a great meal after a long day at work. I love the way they hold hands in the car or when we go out to eat. I love the way that they hold on to each other when they fall asleep or how my mom looks like a schoolgirl whenever dad steals a kiss from her unexpectedly.

I’ve never seen my parents this way, and it took them years to realize how to make a marriage work. They’re getting older and older now, but to see that love is still there after all these years makes me very happy. I get so happy because it gives me hope that love doesn’t die, it doesn’t age, it just needs nurturing to stay strong. Its the kind of happiness that brings me hope that I can grow old with the person I love. To be able to hold their hand in my wrinkly hand, and still have that twinkle of love in my aged eyes the way I did when we first fell in love.

Smile, sometimes all you need is a new chance to turn it all around.

Some Things Start At Home

      Some things start at home first, like education, and respect. But there are other things that start at home too and one of them is learning how to interact with others, and many other valuable lessons in life. My early childhood at home was quite awkward yet it wasn’t so bad. Most of my time I spent living in a home with my mother being a single parent, and looking up to my two brothers as the fatherly figure that I always wanted but never really had.

I learned a lot of things from the struggles my family went through financially, romantically and all in between. Although I learned so much over all these years, I think I learned more in the last year and a half or so.

Ever since my dad came back home I learned sooo much. Not exactly because he took that role of fatherly figure but because I learned that sometimes its never to late to turn things around. I learned that sometimes the grouchiest of people can be the most loving, that sometimes the simplest of gestures can go a long way, and that sometimes after many years love can still prevail.

Lately watching my parents being more romantic, and working together like a team has made me immensely happy. I’m very happy to see a different side of my mom, a more vulnerable side of her that I rarely got to see. Seeing that side of her on a daily basis has really changed things around the house. Sure she’s still pretty OCD, and bossy but overall the mood has been lightened and I love that.

So what have I learned? I learned that even love starts at home, the way you treat your significant other is extremely important. Looking at my parents in their good days makes me hope that as I grow older I too can keep appreciating the little things in life.

Smile, there’s so much to learn in the places we see each day. 

Don’t Worry

     I haven’t written anything in sometime, I’ll be honest with you I’ve had the time, the topics the pen and paper in front of me but for one or more reasons I pushed it aside. I’ve had a lot on my mind too, way too much to the point where I can’t sleep from all the thoughts in my head. The thing that has been bothering me the most is the possible return of my dad.

      Yes, this is a bit of a personal post. My father left us a little over ten years ago and before that my mother had left him. My mother raised my siblings and I mostly on her own, dad was away for work most of the time when he was with us anyway and my mom had to deal with everything. When he left ten or so years ago he left during one of the worst times of my life, my mother was just recovering and my family was in a bit of a mess. It has taken me ten years to comprehend why he left that night and why many things happen, I don’t blame him we’re human.

      It was however during those ten years that I didn’t understand anything, my hormones were starting to kick in and I was entering the “teen-age” phase. You’d think that no father around would probably lead me to turn into another reckless teenager, instead it turned me into the adult I am today. I spent many days crying alone hoping he would come back but he didn’t. I always had the hope that perhaps he’d return to see me graduate from high school but he didn’t show up. No calls on birthdays only broken promises.

      I got to the point where I was sent to a psychologist who determined I had trust issues and relationship issues attributed to my father leaving me. Maybe that’s when I started to dislike Psychology… anyhow I admit I have issues, but who doesn’t? I didn’t need a psychologist to learn to deal with my issues on my own. What has kept me up at night is wondering what life will be when (if) he comes back.

      He isn’t the jerk I may write him to be here, rarely did he yell at me, he spoiled me and taught me valuable lessons that I haven’t forgotten. However I’ve changed, I haven’t seen him in years. I’m not sure how I’ll react when he comes in through the front door. Many times I wish he could have been here to help me out, advice me but he never was. I learned to deal with my problems alone and not be dependent on being told what was or wasn’t wrong.

      I know I shouldn’t count my chickens before they’ve hatched. We’re human and we all make mistakes. Maybe I should stop worrying, it’s never too late to meet again.

Smile, don’t worry too much.