Nightmares

I wrote about Dreams in a previous post a few days ago, today’s post will be about nightmares. Now I know I mentioned in the previous post that dreams were somewhat rare for me, nightmares are not rare for me at all. You may attribute this to whatever it is that you want but honestly I really don’t know why I have them almost on a daily basis. Sometimes I wonder if this is genetic as there have not been any big traumatic event in my life to make me a depressed person. Now the reason why I wonder if nightmares may be genetic is because I know I’m not the only one in my family that has them often. I found about this recently and I thought it was a very interesting thing.

The Nightmare by Fuseli

I started to have recurring nightmares during a Summer a few years back, it started suddenly. Before that I wasn’t much of a nightmare person and when my nightmares started I was scared. I was scared for a couple of weeks until I learned that they were only nightmares and nothing more. Over the years my nightmares became my inspiration for many, many things. I learned to face a lot of my fears I didn’t think I could face before.

Some of my nightmares are really bad, some are just plain weird. My nightmares gave me many ideas for my novel, and thanks to them the ideas I have for my novel seem perfect as of now. I plan to incorporate many of the nightmares I’ve had in my story, it only seems fitting. While many frown upon the idea of dreaming of nightmares on a daily basis I have discovered that in them lie creativity and discovery. I guess you can say that I like to see the bright side in it all, but nightmares do have a positive outlook. I can’t say that I love nightmares but many times I wake up amazed at the worlds my mind creates, and the complexity of it all.

Smile, there’s always a bright side to something dark.

Ceiling Fan

The ceiling fan’s blades spin endlessly.

It’s been a long day, a long warm day. My feet take ghostly walks across invisible fields. My body is tired and unmoved. My brain tries to concentrate on the remnants of the glow in the dark days of my room. They turn on and off with the spinning of the blades.

Is this madness? No. Yes. Maybe. It feels more like an out of body experience. My eyes are wide open, my mind tells me it’s time to close them, its time to dream of things that don’t exist (or maybe they do). It’s time to dream of a twisted mirrored world of my own reality. I close my eyes. Nothing works. I can hear hear the faint noise of the ceiling fan.

When did it even begin to make a noise? I can’t remember, it’s not like it matters. Yes, it does matter.

I close my eyes again, I think of my day… actually that’s a bad idea its too much to think about. I think of a trip I took a while back. Tranquil, serene, the breeze and the salty taste of the ocean air… the fan is making it’s noise. It’s spinning, spinning, spinning. Taunting me, the noise it makes surely is laughter. My eyes are opened, I feel like I have night vision. Oh wait, my eyes have adjusted to the darkness of my room. The fan keeps laughing, I know it’s laughing. I pull the sheets over my head, the fan is not laughing anymore, oh the peace has finally settled in! I close my eyes.

Slowly with my eyes closed I start to pull the sheets back, I can’t make noise or the fan will surely see me and laugh once more. I’ve made it! It didn’t see me! I open my eyes.

There’s light, the Sun is shinning brightly outside, the birds are chirping away. It was all a dream, or so it seams. But then I look up and see the ceiling fan’s blades spinning endlessly.

Smile, the sun is shinning.

Mother

     Have you ever watched someone sleep? Tonight my mom and I were watching television, after a while I turned to ask her something when I noticed that she was sleeping. She’s beautiful. She looked peaceful as she rested her head on the pillow. It was different from normal, she’s usually busy doing one thing or another, always taking care of everything. At that moment in time she was sleeping, dreaming perhaps. Whatever she was dreaming I hope that it was of something far from reality, something completely different from her everyday life. Everyone deserves a peaceful rest, a time away from the world.

    She has changed so much and yet not at all. For her age she looks very young, she’s wiser everyday. There are times I wished she smiled more, enjoy life at a slower pace. Seeing her sleep gives me hope that perhaps in her dreams she might be doing just that.

     Covered with a blanket, she seems vulnerable. Don’t let that deceive you, she is one of the strongest women you can find. She has done so much for her family and for the people around her, this is her time to catch up with herself. She watched me sleep many times, and now I watch her. I’m older now and I understand more things than before, watching her sleep warms my heart. I’m taking a mental picture, placing it in the album of my life. I’m prolonging this memory to last me a lifetime. I forever want to hear her heartbeat as she dreams peacefully. In a few hours she’ll wake up. For now, everything is just fine in this world far away from reality.

Smile, make the beautiful moments last.