Clouds

     As usual I checked the weather report before going to school, possible showers. For us in California the weather report should might as well announce that the sky is about to fall since most of us seem to panic just knowing that rain is on the way.

     I love the rain, clouds, the whole winter thing. Ever since I was little I would sneak out to run around only to have my mother bring me back in the house, followed by some “you’ll get sick”, “are you insane?” etc. She would tell me about every possible bad scenario that could happen to me if I went out in the rain. It’s not that I wanted to be a bad child or be rebellious (not consciously). I just wanted to look at the clouds, I wanted to feel the rain drops fall on my hair, I wanted to jump on the puddles. I understand why my mother would get mad, she cared about my well being and of course didn’t want to clean up my muddyful mess. But I had fun doing that, it made me happy.

     I remembered this and more on my way to school, the clouds looked beautiful as they paraded across the sky. I remember laying down on the grass to let my imagination take over. I would see animals, castles, and words in the sky. Those were beautiful times, happy memories of my childhood. How long has it been since I’ve done that? Years. Can’t exactly say how many but it sure feels like it’s been a long time.

     Sometimes I wonder if it would be the same? When I was younger I had less things to worry about, less things to think about. I would lay there and just look at the clouds and their formations as they moved across the sky. What would happen if I tried that now? Would it be the same or would my everyday thoughts prevent me from having a wonderful time like I used to? I think a lot on a daily basis, my life is no longer worry free as it used to be. I can’t recall any time in the near past were I’ve spent time alone or doing something I enjoyed without thinking of things, just things.

     For now I continue to watch the clouds, just not the same goal in mind. I don’t see castles in the sky the way I used to, but I do see something I like, clouds and that makes me happy. Funny how sometimes the little things that many of us take for granted are the very things that make some of us smile.

Mistakes

     There is a saying that goes something like this “You learn from your mistakes.” but the question is, do we really learn? Many a time I’ve seen people (myself included) commit the same mistake twice, or more. Why is it that although we know certain things are wrong we keep doing them? Surely we do things without realizing what it is that we are doing, but after repeating the same deed over and over again we must know something. 
     An easy example to discuss would be procrastination. How many of us have fallen into the sweet habbit that is called procrastination? I can raise both of my hands for this one. We’ve all been there doing that essay or project hours (if not minutes) before its due, paying bills, cleaning, calling aunt Marge to invite her to the party, buying the stuff for the party… and the list goes on and on. Although we know the many things that are wrong with this, we keep doing it. A few quarters back I told myself that I would stop being a procrastinator and get my act together, it would only last a week (max) and then I was back again to the same old, same old.

     Why do we do this? I think this varies from situation to situation and from person to person. I myself prefer to work under pressure and I feel that I can be more productive during such circumstances. I understand that it shouldn’t be an excuse to put off projects and daily doings for the last minute simply because of that. So I started to look at other possible factors as to why I keep repeating my mistake (one of many). The second reason that I thought of this is because I’ve gotten away with so much over the years. I once had a professor who said she knew when a student was a procrastinator, she assigned a project and expected the best. She gave us a few weeks to complete it, I did it the day before. The best part: I got the best grade in class. The similar story happened over and over all throughout my high school years. When I got to college I figured that I needed to mature and become a serious adult. I did grow up, became more serious about my career but no matter what I remained a procrastinator and it was the same story all over again. So my theory is if you get away with it more than once you will most likely try it again. Thirdly, perhaps its the thrill of the moment. You feel that adrenaline rush, time is defying you and you want to prove everyone wrong. Maybe its the proving part that calls you back over and over again, then again maybe it isn’t.

     Like I said it all depends on the situation, and the person. Everyone goes through different experiences and we don’t all feel the same about the same things. The procrastination example was just something that most of us can relate to (at least to some part of it), but what about everything else? What about all those other mistakes we make on a daily basis? They can be as innocent as forgetting to tie your shoelaces before leaving the house or as serious as forgetting to pick up your sibling at the airport (thankfully my siblings don’t travel much). No matter what mistakes you do think about it for a second, what have you learned from them (if you’ve learned anything)? Do you have reasons why you keep doing them or are they just excuses?

     The best part of it all is that no matter what it is we can do something about it. If we really want to, we can give it a try to change things around. For some of us our repetitive mistakes not only harm us but they harm those around us as well. Perhaps if we all stopped for a second to think about what it is that we are doing and why we might understand what is going on a little better. Just by stopping to think we’re already taking a huge step. Those of us who want to continue will not only have to be thinkers but action takers and makers. We really can’t expect for others to stop us from making mistakes, we have to start learning on our own. 

     I’ll be honest with you I will always be a procrastinator but I became an action taker, I’ve been procrastinator free for more than a week.

Good-Bye Valentines Day

     February the 14th seems to be a day of mixed feelings. We all know how that goes some are lonely and depressed, others just don’t care what day it is and others are busily enthusiastic about this romance/lusty filled day. Many of us have gotten sucked into this holiday by everything around us. Wherever you go you will find something that tells you Valentines is just around the corner. For some people (usually single people) it feels like mockery, “Look at me!” says that giant teddy bear in the store aisle, “I love you! Oh wait you’re single, sorry I don’t love you.” Don’t get me started on the candy… For other “fortunate” souls, Valentines Day is a glorious day. The perfect excuse to go with your loved one to that one special place or to do that one special thing. Hey, its even right for some to take out their pen and paper and write the World’s Corniest Poem and yet look like a total winner. 

      So if you were home stuck watching ‘SNL’ and crying after Seth Myers comment after his “Weekend Update”  segment, don’t worry Valentines Day is over. Don’t worry you survived yesterday now it’s time to continue with life. If on the other hand you spent your day with your sweetheart, well Valentines Day is over for you too. Show your loved one that you can be equally romantic any day of the year and I guarantee you that your day will be better than yesterday.

     Good-bye Valentine’s Day, see you again next year.