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My parent’s marriage was never a rose colored one, or one of those where the couple has been married for so long you wonder what a great life they’ve had together. Wrong. My parent’s started off great, my dad even got his teeth knocked out in pursuit of my mom (had to get replacements). My mom destroyed the greatest car my dad ever had, rejected him a million times before she even said “yes” to a date and yet they got married.
What seemed to be a perfect story didn’t turn out so well a few years into their marriage, my dad had affairs and eventually they separated a few months after I was born. They tried to work things out when I was a few years old but that turned out more sour than the last and they called it quits soon after. Now after years of dad being away they’re back together but finally it seems they’ve figured out that despite everything they ended up together because no one seems to comprehend the other like they do.
I’ve been observing them for the last two years that my dad has returned, they started off quite rocky but it wasn’t until one of them decided to change that the other decided they too had to change to make this work. We all knew that those two loved each other, they were just too stubborn to change and admit their faults. Now, when I look at them I see that love that I hadn’t seen before. I see the way dad holds my mom’s hand and smiles as she eats her breakfast. Or the way mom makes dinner in such a loving and careful way to make it perfect because dad deserves a great meal after a long day at work. I love the way they hold hands in the car or when we go out to eat. I love the way that they hold on to each other when they fall asleep or how my mom looks like a schoolgirl whenever dad steals a kiss from her unexpectedly.
I’ve never seen my parents this way, and it took them years to realize how to make a marriage work. They’re getting older and older now, but to see that love is still there after all these years makes me very happy. I get so happy because it gives me hope that love doesn’t die, it doesn’t age, it just needs nurturing to stay strong. Its the kind of happiness that brings me hope that I can grow old with the person I love. To be able to hold their hand in my wrinkly hand, and still have that twinkle of love in my aged eyes the way I did when we first fell in love.
Smile, sometimes all you need is a new chance to turn it all around.
When I first saw this book I thought it would be a lovely addition for some light reading. The book is beautifully crafted with lovely pictures and many wonderful quotes. I know that there is a full length book by Dr. E. Eggerichs from which this little book is based off on. Prior to getting this book I had heard many positive things and even read many positive reviews on Dr. E Eggerichs’ books that I was looking forward to getting my hands on this one.
Unfortunately for me, I am not married and quite frankly I can’t put myself in such a situation to fully understand what marriage is all about. Although this book may be geared towards married couples I did find material that can essentially apply to relationships in general. Take for example the concept of respect, which I believe is one of the fundamentals of any healthy relationship. This book would be a lovely gift for a newly married couple or just any married couple out there.
This book was a gift from Thomas Nelson for this review, the opinions I have expressed are my own.
I have issues, which people have been more than willing to point out many times. Things may be true, my thoughts might have been influenced by what I saw at home, and by what I still see at home today. When I was younger my parents would often fight, really bad. I grew up amongst siblings that loved me dearly and spoiled me but my parents, partially neglected me and did not care if I was present during their fights. I found comfort in school, I isolated myself in books, in homework, I turned into a perfectionist especially when it came to school related things. That’s how I dealt with my own troubles.
Over time I began to separate myself from church, what was the point? My prayers didn’t get answered, my father left, my mom got sick and I felt lonely. By the time I was 18, I made the decision not to go anymore. I have beliefs, mine don’t seem to coincide with everyone and because of that I decided best to separate myself, everyone in their own worlds. I came to see many failed marriages over the years. To start, that of my parents. Second? My siblings, and then friends and acquaintances. I guess you can say I got to the point where I just don’t believe that marriage is something that everyone must do. I personally find it to be a sacred union between two people who love each other, but it saddens me to see how many people take such decision so lightly. Almost as if it were a game. Oh well, it didn’t work, I can just try again, kind of a thing.
I was asked if I would be willing to take the role of a housewife. The typical housewife that stays home, takes care of her home and family. No, I cannot. I truly admire the women that are able to pull that off, its a big responsibility, a great job on its own and not every woman can do that. I can’t. When asked why, I said I would be very unhappy. There’s a reason as to why I’ve stayed in school, why I’ve tried hard. Not because I’m a nerd, not just because I want to help my family out, but because I want to be free. I took that concept early on in life when I saw my parents arguing. I knew that my only way out would be through education. I know that problems will always exist in every relationship but at least I know that I have a backup plan that makes me happy, and no matter what I’ll know that I can take care of myself, that alone makes me feel accomplished.
Smile, we all have a reason to be happy.
I remember my childhood days when I used to play with the Barbies my mom would buy me, the pony sets, and the tea sets and the kitchen sets and the Easy Bake Oven my dad got me. Quite frankly I never really enjoyed any of that. I always wanted LEGOS and puzzles and books but my mother always wanted the pretty bright pink and even purple toys for her precious daughter. Don’t get me wrong I appreciated everything they gave me and I gotta be honest the toys were pretty cute but I guess I was always too nerdy for any of that stuff. Regardless, I played with them and had fun.
I went to school, got the grades I needed and kept on going year after year. I studied, did my homework, I played here and there, had (and have) my friends. Today I still talk to some of my friends that I met as a child, and I think that is something pretty amazing. I’ve known them for almost half of my life and when I think of it that way I feel old but looking at it differently I’ve just started to live. I’m not old, but old enough to understand many things. I’ve grown so much over the last couple of years.
Looking at it through a different perspective I see how everyone has changed. Some of my friends are already married, some are mothers and fathers of beautiful young and bright kids. Some of my friends are starting to graduate from college and some are just about to finish. That’s life isn’t it? You’re born, you live your childhood, teen years, adult years, maybe have a family, have a job and life goes on and on until we leave this world.
My mother confessed she had high expectations from me, she wanted me to be a lawyer some day. Me, a lawyer? Sure I argue often, try to prove my point but I would’ve made one sucky lawyer. Unfortunately and thankfully her daughter (me) is on her way to becoming a scientist (told you I was always a nerd). My sister married not so long ago, now everyone has expectations that I’ll be the next to walk down an aisle and give my parents new grandchildren. Hold up, I’m only 21. Why is it that society has this kind of notion of marriage and the whole start a family ASAP thing. I believe my trust issues and inability to form a real commitment to a relationship scares my mother more than myself. My friends are asking me, WHEN? When am I finally gonna commit to a relationship, I don’t know maybe after I’m done with my career and I have lived my life a bit? Surely, that’s not too much to ask is it?
As a child I would play house like many others. But never did I think that I would be getting pressure from my family about things like this. I saw it done to other people as I grew up and I always thought that was a silly thing to do. Funny how things turn out. Growing up I saw the expectations for others and now those are the same expectations on me. All I know is one thing, I’ll just let time do it’s thing and in the mean time I’ll continue to live my life happily in my own way.
Smile, don’t let expectations get in the way of your happiness.