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I gotta say it’s very difficult when you hear every day (seriously, everyday) “you have to move on.” Do people really think I don’t know that? Here’s the thing though, unless you have walked everyday in my shoes don’t judge me, don’t tell me what I HAVE to do when YOU think I HAVE to do it. I know I have to move on, but can’t I just be left alone for a while? Why is it that society is so pushy on dating and having people be in relationships? I’ve been set up more times in this past month than I have my whole life. It’s depressing.

Its more depressing when my career is the great catch, “she majored in…” so here’s what I have to ask, since when has dating involved a resume of your career? To me it seems that lately all I hear is that my career can get me great dates and those dates are interested because well this career has potential for “green”. It disgusts me, annoys me, angers me. Ah, if only you knew how great it feels to even write this? I’m letting out my frustrations here just to not punch people in the face whenever I get the, “you have to move on.” followed by a “I know someone who loves nerdy chicks.” Thanks, but no thanks.

Thanks for keeping the love of science alive, but please leave me alone. Please, Universe make people stop thinking they are Cupid unless they are doing that for Halloween in which case they should still leave me alone. Why do people think I need to be with someone to be happy? Quite the contrary, I’m happier alone than in bad or unwanted company and that’s the fact. Let me be, let me thrive and let me live. Alone. I need solitude more than anything at the moment, I want peace, I want quiet, and yet I can’t seem to get it. I even tried hiding in church (yes, that’s how bad its gotten) and even there I couldn’t find silence. Please don’t try to be Cupid, some of us just need to be alone to figure things out. We’ll be fine, life goes on, and we move on, just at our own pace.

Smile, let it be!

     School is about to start, the whole hype about kids going to school reminds me of when I was younger. I remember that every year I would look forward for that school shopping experience. I remember going down the isles with my brother and or my sister and they would ask me what materials I would be needing for school. This, this, that… The routine was always the same, and always pleasant.

I loved going school shopping. There was just something so nice about that “starting all over” feeling that I loved so much. Each year was the same, a new beginning, a new start. Seeing my nieces and nephews getting ready to go to school really brings me back to my days when I was their age. A lot has changed from what I’ve seen. Perhaps I’m getting to old, perhaps I’m still stuck in my old ways when things seemed more childish and naïve. Nowadays I see kids more worried about other things like makeup (yeah, I’ve seen first graders worried about makeup), and new gadgets and cellphones. I’m talking about kids here! Maybe I really am stuck in the olden days when a lunch box was so cool to have, when the biggest gadget you owned was a Gigapet or a calculator that you didn’t even need. I miss the old days when backpacks where all about Hello Kitty and Lisa Frank and not about Hanna Montana and all those other characters that are way too out there for me.

I remember how the most we complained about where uniforms, and how much we disliked wearing those collar shirts. Now kids that don’t have to take uniform complain about having brand jeans and designer clothes. I miss the simple days of school, the more childish days where kids were actually kids and enjoyed their childhood. Today all I see is kids so worried about their body and image, and having the new styles and being popular. Today it seems that being a second grader and not having a phone is a big deal breaker. What has happened? Why can’t we be a big more conscious about giving kids a break and let them be kids. Then again times have changed, but I don’t think I’ll ever change in liking the simpler things in life.

Smile, just because times change doesn’t mean you can’t reminisce about your good times. 

  Sometimes I go outside while the sun begins to set. Its one of my favorite times of the day. Its almost as if nature takes on the role of the Impressionist artists and begins to use the land and sky as a canvass.

I stand there looking at the mountain range, a spectacular view of colors. The perfect blending and lighting in all its glory. That red orange color blending in with the blues in the sky, the in between purples and yellows so carefully in balance. The mountains looking like sleeping giants in the horizon, grandiose in all their enormous existence. Oh how beautiful they look with all their wrinkled and folded bodies, exerting their dominance over the valley.

The sun slowly going down to the West, the colors changing, blending, producing a picturesque show of color and lighting. The rays of the sun softly bouncing off the giants, and colors turning into deeper shades. Slowly the reds, the oranges and the yellows begin to fade away. A slow yet beautiful change, the change of life. The light begins to dim with every passing minute as the Sun hides under the sea. Darkness begins to prevail, the eyes of the night slowly appear in the dark fabric above our heads. They await for the Sun to submerge itself completely before blinking wildly down on us.

What a beautiful change, the change of life. Yet how I long to be a witness of that change not by myself but with someone else. To share those moments when the Earth rotates, just the two of us while the rest of the world concentrates in motion we can pretend to be motionless as we watch the world pass by. So please hurry home my love, because there’s just so much I want to share and witness with you.

Smile, pretend to be motionless.

Many nights and days

Will have to pass us by

Through rains, clouds and sunshine

We’ll have to endure.

Nights apart we’ll be

While the world dances in harmony

Take out and movies

Never seemed more lonely

Songs now turned silent

Sunsets in grayscale

As I pass my days sitting and thinking…

What are you thinking about?

You can ask me till the very last day

My answer will always be, you.

 

The minutes will turn to hours

And hours to days

Before we know it the years will pass us by

But through much more we’ve survived.

No one told me the other side of love

The part that makes you cry

When your heart smiles and weeps at night.

Nights apart we’ll be

While the world dances in harmony

Take out and movies

Never seemed more lonely

Songs now turned silent

Sunsets in grayscale

As I pass my days sitting and thinking…

What are you thinking about?

You can ask me till the very last day

My answer will always be, you.

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