To You Modern Cupids

I gotta say it’s very difficult when you hear every day (seriously, everyday) “you have to move on.” Do people really think I don’t know that? Here’s the thing though, unless you have walked everyday in my shoes don’t judge me, don’t tell me what I HAVE to do when YOU think I HAVE to do it. I know I have to move on, but can’t I just be left alone for a while? Why is it that society is so pushy on dating and having people be in relationships? I’ve been set up more times in this past month than I have my whole life. It’s depressing.

Its more depressing when my career is the great catch, “she majored in…” so here’s what I have to ask, since when has dating involved a resume of your career? To me it seems that lately all I hear is that my career can get me great dates and those dates are interested because well this career has potential for “green”. It disgusts me, annoys me, angers me. Ah, if only you knew how great it feels to even write this? I’m letting out my frustrations here just to not punch people in the face whenever I get the, “you have to move on.” followed by a “I know someone who loves nerdy chicks.” Thanks, but no thanks.

Thanks for keeping the love of science alive, but please leave me alone. Please, Universe make people stop thinking they are Cupid unless they are doing that for Halloween in which case they should still leave me alone. Why do people think I need to be with someone to be happy? Quite the contrary, I’m happier alone than in bad or unwanted company and that’s the fact. Let me be, let me thrive and let me live. Alone. I need solitude more than anything at the moment, I want peace, I want quiet, and yet I can’t seem to get it. I even tried hiding in church (yes, that’s how bad its gotten) and even there I couldn’t find silence. Please don’t try to be Cupid, some of us just need to be alone to figure things out. We’ll be fine, life goes on, and we move on, just at our own pace.

Smile, let it be!

The Mirror of the Soul

I am very particular about my stuff, more specifically my room. I organize it according to my likes, my taste. When we moved here I had to pick out the color of the walls, I had to imagine what my new sanctuary would look like. While picking out the colors one in particular called out for me, it was called “Joyful”. I immediately fell in love with the color, and it is now the primary of my room.

“Joyful”

I’d like to think that I am an optimist, but I am only human and like everyone else I fall every now and then. I get up, but I make mistakes, I have my breakdown moments too. “Joyful” its supposed to stand for something, for the way I like to be, for how I like to view the world in all its splendor. I like to think in the good of others, I’m too tired of being a cynic, although I often times find it difficult.

I believe that one’s room is like a mirror to our soul, it reflects a lot about us. You can tell a lot about a person by their room. How they are, what they’re like, what they like, where they’ve been, where they want to go. Now, some may label me as O.C.D. I like to say that I’m just particular about the things I have. I like my things in a certain place, I like my room to smell a certain way, to be a certain way.

I don’t like my things to be moved and left where they “don’t belong”, I don’t like my room smelling like food, nor do I like to see a mess in it either. I don’t like to have anything under my bed (it only calls out for spiders and little critters), I want it to be bright, and as neat as it can possibly be. I don’t like arguments in my room, I don’t like negative thoughts either, it is my sanctuary after all. I dislike taking my work to bed, or doing any kind of work in bed, my bed is my place to rest, to relax, its my zen spot. I’ll admit I have done work on my bed in my past, but that’s only a last resort kind of deal.

Balance.

I am for tranquility, peace, life, and happiness. Overall I want my room to feel like it has a sense of balance, a place where you can walk in and just forget about the world outside, relax, because everything is in harmony. After all, that is just what I want to do with my own life, to acquire a sense of balance and tranquility to my soul.

Smile, there is harmony after all the chaos.